Newsletter #1
Good morning
Or good afternoon, good evening! Depending on where you are in the world!
So this is it! My first time writing Newsletter!I am super psyched. Have not done this before, but if millions of other people can do this, why not me? I know, I know, there are probably hordes of things that I have to learn on the subject, but at this point, I’m less interested in that, and more interested in connecting with you!
Today is a busy day again. I thought I will have a tiny little lie in, as there is no school for my kids today, but alas… this would be the morning where my 9-year old (I almost typed 7-year old. Where has time gone?) decides that he is going cycling with his dad… and being extremely vocal about it at 5:26m… so that was the end of my plans...
However, it is now just after 8am and I already dropped my daughter off at acro-dance exam and is now sitting at my favourite coffee-spot, (also known as my other office) ‘The Daily, Elardus Park’ in Pretoria East, enjoying my well-earned cup of java. Writing to all you fine people. Make sure you drop in if you are ever in the vicinity.
We just started another fabulous ‘Straighten your CROWN, princess' course last week, and I feel very blessed with all the ladies that I have on the current course.This is the second group of 'Covid - time - lets - Zoom - like - a - Boss' - ladies, but by the off chance that the Covid-regulations changes and I can get everybody together, I would love to do just that for at least one session. Even if we have to Skype some in that lives far away. I have found previously, that having a small group, of 6 – 10 ladies around a table has an amazing impact on the end-results of everybody's experience. We meet each other face to face, share a few giggles, share some coffee (or wine) and snacks and share experiences. And this is where a major part of the healing comes from. From realising that you are not alone in your struggles. That the challenges you face are universal to most women of a certain age. You are not alone in feeling left out and left behind. Feeling unappreciated, especially by those that you dedicate most of your time and effort to (yes, I'm talking about that little army you created..) You are not alone in feeling that you have more to give. That you need to be more, mean more, that you have not reached your full potential. That you are more than just someone’s mother, someone’s wife or your job. You are not alone in feeling that this cannot be it. There is more to life.In John10:10, Jesus said that He came so we can have life in abundance. So where is that abundance that is promised?We all ask ourselves exactly that question.
Life should be more than struggling from pay-cheque to pay-cheque. Life should be more than rushing around trying to get the basic things done. Life is more than working your ass off to prove to the world that you have it all together, that you are the epitome of what happiness looks like… even if you don’t feel it. Even if you have not felt it in a while..So get up, dress up and show up. We are all in this together!
We all share these feelings in a greater or lesser amount. Start by deciding what it is that you want. I mean, REALLY want. Not what your family, friends or society expects from you. But what is that will make YOU happy. Do you want to spend more time in your garden? Do you want to join a running club? Do you want to take that art class? Do you want to write that book? Do you just want to take 22 minutes each day to lie on your couch and watch your favourite Netflix series? Follow the advice of Nike, and just Do It!
You might have to re-arrange a few things first, but do it. If you don’t look after yourself, nobody else will.But first of all, make sure you know what it is that you want. If you have to call a family meeting to discuss a change of schedule to accommodate your needs, do it! Remember, your family is not mind-readers (well, mine is not, that I learned time and time again) Say what it is that yóú want. Otherwise they will not know. And chances are, they will be happy to accommodate you. Just speak up!
Think that is enough of my early morning wisdom for one day ;-D
I will be starting my next live course in February. This is 12 weeks of learning, sharing and growing. In the meanwhile, I am working on something else that can keep you occupied while you wait.
So this is me, Theresa, signing off. My 3-shot coffee is finished, my system is buzzing and I have to go and pick up my daughter.See you soon! Please do sent any questions or concerns to [email protected]
Lots of love,
Theresa
AKA the CROWN-guru
Newsletter #2
I must say, I was so pumped by my first newsletter, I decided to get started on the next one almost right away! Even though you will only be receiving it in a few days time. I don't want to spam you!
First, I wanted to share with you how upside-down our country is during this Covid-time. Myself and my husband, took our 3 primary school kids to a movie at a large cinema today. We had to pre-book, which I did early enough so that we can just relax and enjoy our family time. We arrived, got our tickets from the self-service kiosk and got some snacks. Pretty pricy snacks, may I add! Everything and everybody is crazy with their prices after the 'heavy' lockdown.
However, it's like going through passport control, just to get inside the cinema (I understand, there are regulations put in place in order to not be liable for any contracted disease) but really? We all sat down next to one-another. Enjoying our popcorn, having a giggle before the movie start. Enjoying some (very scarce) family time.
The next thing you know, a lady (presumably a manager) directs us to be seated in the correct manner. I explained that we are a family, a father, a mother and three young children. We arrived with the same vehicle, we came from the same home, are going back to the same house and somewhere in-between all of that, we will probably all sit around the same table having a shared meal.To no avail...
We had to move to have seats open between us. WTF? Excuse my French! I mean, really? And this in a week where not one, but 2 small girls almost got kidnapped right from below their parents noses. (One almost grabbed on a patio of a restaurant, the other was almost snatched out through an open car window of a car! Both times the parents were present!)
I am so over this! I am over being a political play-ball. When I shared this on social media, I was also told about a lady (she is a nurse!) that tried to escort her elderly mother with a bad knee, into a shop in a mall here in Pretoria. She was told to stand away and keep her social distance!Is this what the world is coming to? People are so afraid of how things will be perceived by others, they will let stupidity rule in order to look good in the eyes of the 'Hugo, bel die polisie' - crowd!!
I understand that there are certain regulations put in place at public spaces. But does this mean that all common sense should fly out the window? You know, that is the problem with common sense. It is not all that common...
Anyway, we had an amazing second session on Wednesday night, the ladies were ready, did their homework and brought their experiences. This is probably one of the best parts of this whole course, being able to share, realising that we all face the same challenges. They might just be dressed differently. I am so looking forward to sharing the next webinar with them this coming Wednesday, and even more excited to receive their feedback the week after. This is, after all why I created this course. To be of service to women that feel as lost as I did.It all started when I have experienced all these feelings, and I knew I can't be alone, there must be more just like me. Women who have lost their own identities in their families as a wife and a mother, but also in their jobs. I was no longer referred to as "This is Theresa. Organizer of note, performer - extraordinaire and fantastic friend'. No, I was referred to as "This is Theresa. Mother of so-and-so, wife to so-and-so, stalwart at school - we can always depend on her to assist at school activities'I realised that I was so much more than that.
I have an identity, I have my own unique gifts and talents. And I have the rest of my life ahead of me (I plan on getting very old, even if is just to irritate my grandchildren!) to make use of those talents and gifts in order to serve others, to make a difference in other people's lives. Not just in my family and my immediate community, but also on a broader scale.
Dr John Demartini said that you should aim national if you want to make a difference in your city or town. Aim international if you want to make a difference in your country. For global impact, you need astronomical vision. And that is what I'm working towards. Reach for the stars, because even if you don't reach the stars, you will still reach the moon!
At the end of the day, this is what it is all about. To develop your own gifts, in order to serve others, and to allow others to serve you with their gifts so they can also grow. We can't do it all (even though I know there are loads of you out there that wants to do everything herself! Yes, I'm talking to you!) But you have to remember, out of billions of people in the world, not even two share the same fingerprints. So why on earth would any two of us share the same gifts in order to fulfil the same purpose? Let other people serve you with their talents, that is why they have them. That is why you have yours...
The quickest way for you to loose your confidence and self-worth, is by trying to become a watered down version of someone else. Just be authentic. Embrace everything about you. The good and the bad. Embrace your specific gifts and use them to fulfil your life's purpose.Authenticity is everything! Don't ever forget that. The more you live in your own values, the more you will grow. The more you will achieve and the more your confidence and self-worth will grow.
Push your boundaries, be your authentic self. If it doesn't scare you, maybe you are not aiming high enough!That is it for this week! I am still working on something special for all of you that cannot wait for the next live course in February. As they say in the classics... watch this space, folks!
Until next time,
Lotsa love,
Theresa
Newsletter #3
Life is too short!How have you been? Hopefully great! The seasons are changing, looks like rain here in Gauteng, so fingers crossed! Then this dust can settle!
Do you ever find something to watch on tv when you are having a break? Instead of staring into space while you eat? Especially if you work from an office with no other people around you? Well I do that. And I'm watching Glee again on Netflix. Liked the series the first time around, love it now on the second run. But today, I saw something that I would like to share with you:
I just watched the episode where Kurt’s father had a heart attack and is now lying in hospital. And this is shortly after he and Kurt had a difference of opinion on how to spend a Friday evening. Nobody knows if he will make it through the night. The situation is tense. Kurt is having all these regrets about the last talk he had with his dad before he ended up in hospital. Afraid that he can never make it right...
At first I thought, I pray that I will never be in such a situation with my mom, (with my dad, having passed along suddenly 10 years ago) but then I realise: if something like this happens, chances are it will be myself or my husband lying on that hospital bed. We are closer to 50 than 40, and we are entering that season now, where old school friends get ill and pass along. Or just drop dead (like my dad did, in his office at age 63)
Wé are now those who have to make sure that our affairs are in order, that all our documentation are taken care of. We are the ones with a higher and higher chance of experiencing death.And that made me realise again how incredibly short life is.
So two things stood out for me:
1) Say what you have to say, when you need to say it. Make amends. You don't know if you will ever see the sun rise again. You are not guaranteed a tomorrow. You are not guaranteed another opportunity to make peace.
2) We have to live in the moment, make the most of each day. I remembered that we are spending too much time on our phones, too much time on social media, too much time bitching and complaining about what should have been and would have been. Rather spend time with your loved ones, make time for them. Go have a tea party with your daughter, play catch with your son. Visit your elderly parents at the retirement village. Give them the time that you might be wasting on things like social media daily. Nobody ever lay on their death bed and thought: "Gee, if only I spend more time at work", or "Gee, I wish I had more followers on Instagram"
YOU are the only person with the power to change your life. Do you realise that? Circumstance can happen, life can happen around you. How you react to it, is entirely up to you. Your choice. Life is short. Make sure you choose correctly. Make sure that you are ready the day that your time is up.
Last Wednesday, we once again had a great evening, with fantastic feedback. I hosted a webinar on how to not compare. The 'C' in CROWN. Don't we love to do that? And what happens next? We judge. And then? You feel even worse than before. But it gets worse, we don't just judge others, but we also tend to judge ourselves, speak negatively to ourselves. You know those conversations that goes on in your head all day, every day? Would you address a friend like that? Probably not. Then why do it to yourself. How you treat yourself, is the benchmark of how others will treat you. Remember that.
I'm looking forward to our chat on the group this week! If you also want to get involved in the program, the next live program will start in February. But as I accept very limited numbers on these live groups, I am also working on a new feature to assist everybody that either can't make the live sessions, or that cannot wait until Feb anymore.
Until next time,
Lotsa love,
Theresa
Newsletter #4
Self-care is never a selfish act..
How have you been?
It's summer! No, it's winter, no summ.. Nope... definitely winter. Or that is the way it is going here in Gauteng! Who knows what season we are in? Hopefully things look better where you are!
I am starting a strict diet again today. Actually, I should not say diet, I should say eating program that just gets less strict after a few weeks. Just the word 'dieting' has such negative connotations to it. Don't you think? It is like this thing you do from time to time to punish yourself for a few weeks, and then go right back to pizza and other crap. And gain everything right back.
2 years ago, I lost 20kg in 16 weeks on a Kyknet program called Vetkans. Thank you to Medi-Lean and Dr Chantelle Eybers for that opportunity! I lost another few after that, and January 2019 was the smallest I have been since Varsity. A size 32. Whoop whoop me!Then life happened, I gained back a few kg's during last year, but was still a comfortable 34, and I was comfortable in my skin (my mother said I looked better, not like I'm hungry all the time!).
But then (drumroll...) enters Covid stage left. Exit my sanity stage right. In the first 8 weeks, I gained 8kg's! Who can relate?I remember talking to dr Chantelle and telling her at that point that I just don't care to check what I put in my mouth. I eat what I want and down that with litres of wine. Because it is easy. I had enough other things to worry about.
Have you ever gotten to that point? That point where you just don't care? You have your goals, you take care of yourself, and then BAM! You just don't care?And self-care is such an important part of our lives. Self-care does not mean 'Me first', it means 'Me too'. If you don't look after you, you can not look after your family or your community. It is almost like on a plane: You put on your own mask first, in order to be able to assist others. You are of no use to others if you are burned out, anxious, ill or dead...
This year has been one (literally) for the history books. Did you take care of yourself when it really mattered? Or were you like me? There was so many other things to worry about: Like homeschooling my three young, primary school kids (I'm no teacher of children, not even close) isolation from others, (very hard for an extrovert) attempting to teach everything from acting class (yes, there was still an online arts festival or two) to dance (imagine that..) to keeping house, cooking 3 meals a day and keeping my sanity.
I had a mini-meltdown one day when I realised I'm attempting to do the jobs of 14 people.. while I'm still paying them for it! It was pouring outside and I sat on my very wet patio, under a very wet towel, tears pouring down my cheeks while gobbling up wine by the litre.For now, I'm (sort of) back to normal. I suppose we will all sigh a sigh of relief when we can put all of this behind us. But until then, remember to take care of yourself. You cannot pour from an empty cup!
I have already made a plan with a few of the kilo's, but now the rest must go! In this picture below, you can see April 2019 (in the red dress) vs a week ago. Definitely a few more pounds around the waist! But here I pledge: THIS KILOGRAMS TOO SHALL PASS. And they shall pass before December this year! And I'm counting on you to be my accountability partner!
This week, I will host Web-class #3 (week 5 of the program) and we will discuss the R, for Responsibility in CROWN. Taking responsibility for our choices, especially taking responsibility for past choices are sometimes very difficult, but it needs to be done. We have to take responsibility for our thoughts and actions. You cannot always dictate the situation, but you and you alone decide how you react to it. And you need to take responsibility for those. It is going to be a great class!
For those asking about the next course, it will only run from February 2021, but hang in there.. I'm working on something that should be available in a few short weeks. Watch this space!
Until next time,
Lotsa love,
Theresa
Newsletter #5
Do they bring the stuff back that they 'borrowed'?
Or is it just my special gift from my children?
I am fuming right now!
Do you have the same thing happening in your house? Cell phone chargers especially... it is like they have this gift. I keep on buying, they keep on making it disappear! Chargers and stationary.. I'm always bloody looking for chargers and stationary!!
I wish I can get them to take responsibility for their belongings. They are constantly losing things. Just this winter, one lost a very expensive jacket. In the beginning of Covid, I bought masks like it is already going out of fashion. They Just. Keep. On. Losing. Things!
Speaking of responsibility, in our web-class last week we talked about responsibility. That is the R in CROWN. Do we take enough responsibility? Do we take too much? Too little?You should only take responsibility for your own actions. Your own thoughts. Not those of anybody else. And that is probably one of the hardest things to remember when you have children. But the thing is: you are not doing them any favours if they don't learn that their actions have consequences. They need to learn to take responsibility for their own messes. Of course, being a mom, you are by their side to advise and cheer on, but they need to learn to take responsibility.
I believe that it is due to a lack of taking responsibility, that our country is in the state that it is in. We now live in a world where some people are held responsible for actions that had nothing to do with them, while others do as they please and blame others for their actions. It's crazy, right?
Respect for one another and taking responsibility for one's own actions... that will be a good start to fix most of what is wrong. By making these two things part of your life, you can start to grow, set goals and reach them.
This week during our live chat, I will discuss responsibility in detail with the ladies. Everybody had some (actually, a lot!) of homework to do, I believe it will be an interesting session. I also believe that there will be a few 'a-ha moments again, some golden nuggets to chew on. This is why these chat sessions are so special, because every woman on this course, realise that she is not alone. That there are so many others experiencing the same feelings. Can't wait!
I told you last week that I'm back on the 'no-wine-no-alcohol-no-sugar train' I'm happy to report today (Tuesday) is day 9 of staying on board! Yay me!
And one last thing: I'm super excited about a new program that I am creating content for! And opportunities that is in the works, in order for all of you to join the CROWN program shortly! At the moment it is limited to small groups, but that is about to change. Watch this space!
If you have not already done so, go check out my Facebook Page where I post daily affirmations. You are also free to ask questions or start conversations that is on topic.
If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me on [email protected]
Until next time!
Lotsa love,
Theresa
Newsletter #6
What will they say at your funeral?
Hello beautiful people! How are you?
We are right in the middle of a heatwave here in Gauteng, but I'm not complaining. I'll much rather be hot than cold!
I started on a course last week with Lisa Nichols (American speaker and motivator), and something she said made such a huge impact on me: if you would die tomorrow, what will be said at your funeral? Not to be dark, or anything, but have you ever thought about that? Will they say I was a great woman. Fantastic wive to her husband, great mother to her kids, outstanding employee / employer. And that is where it ends?
Or will they also add something like: She made a real difference. She was a pillar in our community, she uplifted people with her words and her ways, you could always count on her to be there for you in your time of need. Maybe even: She sponsored so many children to get a schooling, maybe even build a school? Funded a new wing in a hospital? Wrote a book that helped thousands to overcome depression. Rescued countless animals and got thousands of sponsorships to guarantee their safe keeping? What will be said at your funeral? What legacy are you leaving?
You can't take anything with you the day you lay your head down for the final time, (and we all will, at some point or another) and you don't get to decide how you will die, but you do get to decide how you will life.
What is the thing that you want to leave behind on this earth, when you are no longer here? We all come into this world with a purpose, we are born with special gifts and talents to be of service to others. This may be your immediate community, your town, your province, your country, even the world! Don't sell yourself short. Your job is to find that passion and purpose, and realise your vision, the reason why you were put on this earth.
This week, we are in week #7 of the current course. I love these ladies on the group, they are absolutely amazing. They learn and they share their souls, and then they learn some more from each other. This week we will be discussing the Organise part of CROWN. Included in this session is discussions on your vision, and your mission to get there. Goal-setting and beliefs. It is going to be a great one!
I have a confession to make: I fell off the water cart. I went for 10 days, then last week my husband and I celebrated our 15th anniversary.. and we ordered wine during dinner. This past weekend we had a show and then I had guests over. And you guessed it: I had some wine! So yesterday was resetting again to day 1. But I know I can do this, I have done it before. But it is just so easy to find excuses to sabotage my own goals.
Do you also experience that?
Super excited about the new format I'm rolling out in January! I will be able to reach so many more of you! My current format, with a small group will also still continue twice a year. There is something really special to these sessions where we can chat and share, when you realise you are not alone in your struggles. With the larger group-format, I will be able to reach so many more women that feels lost and disconnected. And that is the legacy that I want to leave: I made a difference in someone's life, whether it was one or 1-thousand.
That's it for this week! Hopefully I can be closer to my goal of no wine when we talk again. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me on [email protected]
Until next time!
Lotsa love,
Theresa
Newsletter #7
Are your beliefs holding you back??
I had the most amazing opportunity this past weekend to attend a Tony Robbins UPW (Unleash the Power Within) Virtual - Live course. It was 4 gruelling days of 12 - 14 hours / day, but his knowledge and insights were astounding! I must admit, by the end of each day my brain was fried, but I learned so much, I think I'm still buzzing.
One of the most important things that he spoke about, something that I also include in my course, is that we can have beliefs that are limiting. I mean, how many of us believe it is hard to lose weight (I might or might not have been in this category 😋) or maybe somebody told you as a child you are stupid, and you still hang on to that belief? Or maybe you believe that when you dance you have the coordination of a drunk-octopus, or you think you sing like a piece of new chalk on a blackboard... and maybe none of that is true! You have just been telling yourself that for so long, that this is what you believe. And it gets worse: so many of us believe that we are bad mothers, or a terrible wife. We think that we might be a lousy cook, or the worst of them all... that we are not lovable, that we are not enough.
Here and now today, I want to urge you to become aware of these limiting beliefs. They say you are what you eat. But for this, it rings even more true: YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND YOU BECOME WHAT YOU BELIEVE, Everything around you, as a matter of fact, is because of your beliefs. Awareness is key here. Think to yourself, what beliefs do I have that is holding me back? What an amazing man, what an inspirational speaker. If you ever get the chance, make sure to listen to him!
This week Wednesday the group and I are discussing the topic of last week's webinar: how to get organised in your life. Life just becomes so much easier if you don't run around like a headless chicken! One of my favourite sayings is 'fill your day with high priority things, otherwise life will fill your day with low priority stuff'. And isn't that the truth?
So my eating program is going well. Went to see my doctor this morning and I lost more than 3kg of fat in the past 3 weeks! Yay me! 😁 Very proud of myself - despite the wine I confessed to last week.
So today is day 8 of being dry and I'm going until next week Saturday, when it is my sister's birthday and will definitely have a glass of vino (or two or three!)
Didn't have a lot of time this past week to work on my manual for my large-group roll-out next year, so this week I need to get cracking! A bit hard with the kids at home for the school holidays, and Anja is dancing in a competition in-between, but no excuses. I have set my goals for what I need to establish this week, and I'm determined to stick to it!
That's it for this week! I want to thank you all for your time. Time is precious. Use it well.
If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me on [email protected]
Until next time!
Lotsa love,
Theresa
